The company is a hit!WednesdayA really tough day today starting with a full dress rehearsal of Hamlet under a brutally hot sun

The company is a hit!WednesdayA really tough day today, starting with a full dress rehearsal of Hamlet under a brutally hot sun. With stops and starts, it goes on for about four hours, despite being a cut version. Then, after sundown, the second performance of Twelfth Night, which goes even better tonight – the audience may not be laughing so hard, but it is listening closely. I have rehearsed my role as Third Gravedigger with Simon and Tom W, but something tells me it ain’t gonna happen…ThursdayAnother arduous day. Simon’s shoulder is better today, so I will not play Third Gravedigger after all. Only the gods of theatre know what a loss to civilisation this may ultimately be.

But everyone is chuffed by a review in the Gulf News headlined “A Superb Night”.7pm The atmosphere in the dressing room – well, dressing tent – is understandably tense, though all the auguries are good: there is now a very strong rumour to the effect that the company will be brought back next year, and possibly hired for a tour to India and Canada, too.The kitchens have laid on a revolting plateful of smelly fat and offal for the play-with-a-play scene, which in this production takes place during a dinner party. The robust joke about it; the fastidious shudder.9pm The BTS Hamlet begins with spooky music and a short, silent film depicting the dumb-show of the Player King being murdered. It’s clear that the cast have got a real grip of the play, and Tom’s Hamlet is intense and commanding. The audience is satisfyingly quiet and attentive – which is more than can be said of the assistant sound engineers, who are silent and asleep. (One of them spent five years on the road with Ozzy Osbourne, so unless Tom M bites the head off a live bat, he doesn’t stand much chance of getting this geezer’s attention.)My mission for tonight is to eavesdrop on the audience during the interval. Most of the talk I hear is directed into mobile phones and has more to do with the oil industry in Texas than dysfunctional aristocrats in Denmark.

Still, a good 90 per cent or more makes it back for the second half, and, later, we all agree that holding this crowd with such bleak matter is a far more distinguished feat than tickling them with one of the most delightful comedies in the language. It seems essential to head back to my room, break out the gin, and discuss these weighty matters until 6.30am.FridayHours of well earned relaxation by the sea, of idle chat and the nursing of hangovers until darkness falls and it is time for the final show. We all assumed that a fresh plate of meat would be supplied for the “Mousetrap” scene: no hope. After a day in direct sunlight, last night’s joke is today’s health hazard; when Ben experimentally poles the seething mass with a fork, a swarm of flies races out But the show goes on, and much faster than last night. What’s more, the royal family is finally here – two princes and their four wives, robed and serious in the front row.

They stay put for the entire first half, which is quite a coup.At the interval I mingle and eavesdrop again, and tonight some of the punters are actually talking about the play. “I love this play, it has so many quotes,” enthuses one lady, “though my favourite line is in King Lear – ‘My kingdom for a horse!’” Another tries to explain the plot to her baffled escort: “You see, the man kills the woman and then she marries the other man…”By just after 12.30, the play is done – 25 minutes lopped off the running time, thanks to a couple of cuts and some swift playing. The applause is not torrential, but it is loud and blessedly protracted through several bows. We pool our last dirhams for a round of lagers and head back to one of the rooms to polish off the last of the duty free and blow off steam In about 30 hours’ time we will be back in Heathrow.

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